Disengage defensive behaviour. Part of unlearning is being prepared to listen without interrupting. No one cares how you feel here. Your feelings are not central to the process of how your oppressive behaviour affects people. Learning to account for the pain you cause means yours need to take a step down. Unlearning oppressive behaviour is not comfortable.
Breathe. and Wake. Listen. Prepare yourself to Unlearn.
EXERCISE 1. When people tell you about the pain they experience from racism and other oppressions LISTEN, and BELIEVE THEM.