Step 5. Prepare to lose friends

Like any addict you will have many people in your life that reinforce oppressive behaviours and the more you wake the more you will be putting strain on your personal relationships. There will be some people who will grow with you on your journey and there will be many you will need to grow apart from. It’s sad as fuck but often times you will simply have to cut ties to those that cannot accept that you have changed.  This means friends and family may disown you or they may try to convince you that they know best. You can fight for them, and you can fight them, but an ideology of fear is very difficult to dislodge. You might want to bang your head against a wall trying, but if you can accept that being tied to white supremacy is inherited and passed on, if not genetically then socially then perhaps it’s time to make new friends, choose family and find comrades who will support who you are becoming.

Exercise: self-love in all forms. Know your worth. Choose who you surround yourself with and who you identify as. If you feel you can bring old friends who are resistant but worth the fight, fight for them, try to educate them, try to show them how they can open these parts of themselves too. When the effort outweighs the value, when you are too depleted, defeated you may have to make difficult choices. Let love lead. Speak to others. Find forums, safe spaces, and you will find companionship. There are beautiful humans making way for other beautiful humans and you will make your communities. Love wins.